Save our Children

I know it's been a while since I have posted here...but I have just been busy. However, after today's sub job--I am making the time.


Today I went to an elementary school I have never been to before. I subbed as an SEA. I honestly have not been feeling well (I have a cold), so I was looking forward to an easier day. How dumb I am....


First off---realize my background. I am a high school teacher that has happily taught in inner city Milwaukee schools. I now sub in Madison. Every time I get a sub job I am warned that I have terrible kids---the worst ever--and then wished luck. And each day--I end; laughing at the teacher and saying--what a breeze! These kids are great! Well today I received no warning. I was in tears by 9 AM, and then went to talk to the principal after school where I once again was in tears. Please as you read this--have an open mind and heart. Realize that very few schools are like this. Support your public schools. Don't let these children and the hard working teachers be forgotten. Visit your schools often and see what is going on. And most importantly pray for the children, their families, the school system, and the government.


I arrived at the office promptly at 7:30 and was told to go to a SE room to get a schedule. I went to the SE room and met another teacher who switched schedules around a bit so that my day would be easier and she would deal with the more difficult kids (especially the kids that have a hard time dealing with change.) She then sent me off to a kindergarten class to help.


I arrived a few minutes after the bell (was a little late from last minute instructions.) The class was somewhat chaotic. Some kids were reading, some were wandering. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on. The teacher was busy, so I asked a few other adults (there were three others besides myself and the teacher) what was going on. Please realize there are 14 kids and 5 adults. That is an awesome ratio. Anyway, I discover the other lady is also an SEA, and the other two adults are volunteers.


So the kids do reading time. Some do it well, some not so well. I get one little wanderer to read two books to me. Then it is time for circle-time. During circle time the teacher goes over the calendar, weather, lunches, etc....During this time there is one little boy in the corner (not in the circle) saying F* You B*. Realize this little boy is 5 years old. All the other adults are ignoring him, so I figure I should do the same. He isn't that loud. A few minutes later I look over again to see him --how do i put this nicely and delicately---making inappropriate body motions. I quickly turn my head away--shocked at what I saw. Did I mention he is 5 years old? A few minutes later he is back to naughty words and has now attracted a classmate to come and join him in the corner of the room. I find out later this classmate is his brother. Now they start getting louder with their foul language.


At this point I am done. Looking at the precious faces of these other 5 years olds. Realizing that their naivety and innocence is being robbed, I get up and approach the kids. I tried nice tactics at first---"Hey guys--your missing out on circle time" The response--"Get away from me B*". Me--"That's not very nice to say, How about we see what the others are doing--I think they are getting ready for story time." The response--"Mother F-ing B* you better get out of my face." Remember 5 years old.


Now being called a B* is nothing new. It has happened many times. Of course I usually have some pretty harsh consequences to follow as well as a phone call to the parents--and then it rarely happens after that. But now realize I am a sub, and secondly these kids have already been saying these words and the teachers have not reacted.


Now I am in shock and not sure of what to do. I think I made the problem worse by attracting more attention to it---but at the same time I felt it was a problem that needed to be dealt with. The precious little ears--and please don't forget the innocent hearts of the two boys that have been so clearly defiled.


I tried getting the latter boy (He was a little quieter and not so potty-mouthed)to come back to the circle --by grabbing his hand and leading him. It was at this point the other SEA came and helped get him back to the circle. It at least got the situation a little quieter.


So next I follow these kids to gym and computers. Gym was fine. The kids ran around like maniacs and freed energy. It wasn't a structured class--I am afraid that if it had been it would not have gone so smoothly. After this was computers. This was where things got real bad. I followed the kids upstairs. The teacher explained the game "Connect Four" on the computer and told the kids to pair up. The kids were very good during the explanation--even the potty mouthed ones. After that the kids got up and went to the terminals to play. I started helping one team of boys that were ED. They didn't understand so I guided them through. At this point, the other SEA handed me a clipboard and said she had to take care of something and left. So it was me, two parent volunteers, and the comp teacher.


A few minutes later one of the parent volunteers came over to me and asked me to do something about two boys who were going at each other. One boy was one I had dealt with earlier, but the other one I did not know. Anyway--they were hitting and kicking each other. I got between and pulled one of them back (the one i didn't know) and said we don't hit or kick. At this point he kicked me and then proceeded to call me every name in the book as well as took several punches at me. Remember 5 years old= 40 pounds. It's not that I can't handle these kids, it's that I don't know what to do with them. Nobody else (teachers) has reacted at this point. There are all those laws about not laying your hands on children. And I have a 40 pound child attacking me. At this point I grabbed the computer teacher and said--"what do I do?. He says "nothing, just ignore them." I pushed further "Can I take them to the office, a different room?" He says "They won't do anything in the office, they will just send them back--and good luck trying to get them there."


Now I've had it! I am in disbelief by what I have seen and heard and more so--the lack of what teachers have done. I told the parent volunteers that I was going to find something to do about it and I left. (By the way--in these kids eyes they probably are pretty proud of themselves because they think they just got rid of a teacher.)


I return to SE room where the lady who gave me instructions was. I burst into tears trying to tell her what was going on. My heart ached for these kids--not just the observers, but for the babies that were robbed of everything. Maybe I was incomprehensible, I don't know. Next thing I know she saying I should talk to the social worker and she calls somebody on the phone--despite my protests. I really think that she didn't understand what I was trying to tell her. And even funnier yet, she tries to make it a private call--by walking out in the hall where I am out of earshot. --yeah--i followed her. She wasn't getting it. This was like a nightmare getting worse. (You ever have those dreams where you are trying to tell someone something that is very important, but they just are ignoring you or don't hear you---I have those a lot--I am sure Freud has some reason for this--this scenario was really a nightmare come true.) Anyway, I tell her--while she is on the phone--I don't need to talk to anybody--I NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO. She hangs up and sort of looks at me. I tell her that nobody else is doing anything. This is when she finally seems to get what I am saying. First of all--she realizes that I haven't been trained to be with this age group, secondly--she realizes that I want consequences for these actions (I swear that is what I told her before, but it was like she wasn't listening.) Thinking about it now--she was very flighty when I first met her, maybe she wasn't the best person to go to--but she was the only person I knew to go to.


Back to my story. Anyway she teaches me how to restrain kids and remove them from the classroom until they are ready to behave. YEAH!!! A BREAKTHROUGH. Now granted I am still nervous about this---restraining kids--but hey I am up for it. Something needs to be done. I return to the kids, with a new outlook and slightly puffy eyes.


The kids are now in the library. The one who kicked me is gone. I ask the parent volunteer who asked me to deal with the fighting kids what happened to him. He tells me he restrained him and carried him to the office. DUH! Now I wonder why he didn't do this in the first place.


Back to library time. I am going to keep this short or else I could continue to write a book on this day. I got to practice my restraining techniques a couple of times--and hey it worked! The only thing that frustrated me about the library (besides the fact that the computer teacher who ignores was in charge) was the fact that I had two kids who escaped and crawled up into a magazine rack--where it was impossible to get them. I wish I could explain this to you. They crawled under the rack and up into it--a tiny space only big enough for a kindergartner to fit in. When I tried to get them out verbally--there was no way anyone could have gotten them out physically--I was called a lot more bad words.


So yeah I think I was called B* and told to F* off today more times than my entire life.


So issues---I am a very proactive person. Being in this situation was very difficult. I was also shocked and not prepared to deal with this age group. I was a stranger, which made restraining scary. After all is said and done though--i felt better by the end of the day.


I also want to say that two of the boys I restrained turned very sweet in my arms. Perhaps they just needed some human touch, or the warmth of another's arm, or the realization that someone cared, or simply structure--expectations---perhaps all the above. They are children, really babies emotionally that have been spoiled, ruined by the thoughtless actions of others.

At the end of the day I went and talked with the principal. Where I once again cried. I explained to her the things I saw and heard today. I told her how powerless I felt--especially after what the computer teacher said. I told her there needs to be consequences. How are they going to learn?


Let me say--she was great. She talked to me a little bit about the backgrounds of these kids. She told me that 20 families in that school are homeless and living in cars. She told me that she has had parents tell her they let their kindergartners watch porn. She told me this is the worst group of kindergartners she has ever had. She also told me she had to teach 3 boys this school year to pee in the toilet--they were taught at home they could pee anywhere. She told me that at the beginning of the year they would have multiple kids masturbating in the classroom. She pointed out the successes of how far they come. AND I KNOW SHE IS RIGHT!!!!


These teachers have worked hard to get these kids where they are AND they were much worse off 3-4 months ago--BUT there are some teachers who do nothing, and even more importantly our society is doing nothing. These kids have lost there headstart (due to government cuts) which would intervene with these behaviors earlier. But at the same time parents need to learn to be parents. So the question is what do we do in a society where you have to have a license to drive a vehicle, but you can have a baby at age 12. Or whatever happened to "It takes a village to raise a child." How many onlookers were there to these children's abuse? Where is social services? Why aren't we more proactive to help struggling parents? I don't believe there is one person that can tell me they have never witnessed some form of abuse of a child in public. Just imagine what happens behind closed doors!



Just some additional happenings for the day...

Several of the kids I worked with today would just leave the classroom and start running in the halls at random times? I also want to mention that one little boy received a reward today for not running in the halls (which isn't true because I actually ended up chasing him down today.) I also need to mention a little girl--7 years old- She told me she would be happy if she was dead, because then she wouldn't have to be at school. She also told me that nobody cares about her.


Please pray with me about these kids and this school. Pray that the teachers are given wisdom in dealing with the situation. Pray that these kids hearts are protected. Pray for the parents to be aware of what they are doing and the long term effects their choices have on the children. And pray for me, yourself, and others that we may have the courage to take a stand against the abuse of children. We see it, it is up to us to choose to ignore it or take action. God bless.